“Without communication there is no relationship. Without respect there is no love. Without trust, there is no reason to continue” Buddha
Relationship is a state of being connected, being associated, or being involved between two or more people. Such interpersonal connections could be with family members, colleagues, friends, romantic partner, or acquaintanceships.
Human beings have strong needs of establishing a connection and belonging to a social group. A healthy interpersonal relationship is the foundation of sustainable long-term socialization.
Why Right Relationship is Significant ?
- It is nourishment providers for physical, mental and emotional well-being of a person
- Source of your happiness, joy, love, support, comfort and security
- A platform to share and care each other’s or one another’s pain and gain, win or lose and remove loneliness
- It builds one’s personalities, value systems and give a sense of purpose and shows directions in life
- You gain knowledge, intuition, wisdom , learnings and self-esteem
What Makes a Good Life ?
Robert J. Waldinger an American psychiatrist and professor at Harvard Medical School has conducted a longitudinal study about ‘adult happiness’. It was the longest study ever made for 75 years on 724 men based at Harvard.
The lessons from this longest study report reveals that “while many young people tend to think that fame, fortune and hard work will bring them success, its actually our social connections that are most important for our well-being.”. It clearly indicates that ‘good and close relationship makes a good life. A good relationship keeps us happier and healthier.
The other notable lessons are –
- Relationships are good for us, loneliness kills.
- Not the number of friends but the quality of relationship that matters.
- Good relation does not protect our body. It protects our brain. People in good relationship stay sharper, live longer, less decline of memories take place.
“Good life is built with good relationship” – Mark Twain
Key Points For A Valuable Relationship –
- Communicate your rules – “ If two people agree on everything, one of them is unnecessary.” – Winston Churchill.
Depending on nature and nurture people may possess different beliefs, values and guiding rules. In a relationship one must communicate his values and rules with the other person and try to find other person’s values and rules as much as possible. Do not assume about others values and rules and start evaluating. You have to find out or ask. Do not break or try to change others beliefs, values or rules. Remember, no beliefs are wrong beliefs or right beliefs as long as they are empowering. Avoid values, rules and belief clash.
- Nurture your connection – Woody Allen an eminent American film director, actor, musician once said that “A relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or it dies.”
You can not help a sapling to grow without water or a lamp can not produce flame without its oil. Low quantity of oil produce low intensity of light.
Similarly , like anything else in life relationship need to be nurtured.
To nurture your relationship at home or at work place spend quality time however small amount that may be.
At home sometimes a surprise act works to nurture a relationship. Surprise may be a small gift, sudden dinner out or may be watching a movie. Nurturing will help to remove invisible layer of dust in your bonding.
- Social Exchange Theory – This theory was proposed by George Casper Homans in 1958 which says ‘that almost all interactions or relations between two parties are on the basis of give and take. The proportion may vary depending on the two parties or interactions.’
But, the biggest challenge start appearing in the personal relationship is that some people make relationship in anticipation to only get something.
In reality , the only way a sustainable relationship is built when you give more and expect less to take. Remember, that the ‘world revolves by the power of giving not by the power of receiving.’
“ Give and You shall receive” – Bible
- Give Priority – In order to keep a relationship happy, vibrant , excited and passionate prioritization skill has always been an important key feature.
You have to learn to differentiate between important and urgent. A fulfilled connection with one another is important. But, if you take things granted and start not paying attention to small but important things over a period of time the intensity of emotion drops. That caring attitude and passion is lost. You invite a situation of urgency.
Prioritize your relationship above all. Pay enough importance and do not invite an urgent status in future by delaying today’s important matters.
- Mutual Respect and Trust – Giving attention to each other’s value, listening to each other, valuing each other’s emotion, feelings and compromising in the time of opinion difference builds mutual respect with the family members as well as in workplace.
Remember, “ Compromising does not mean you are wrong and someone is right. It only means that you value your relationship much more than your ego..”
Mutual respect build feelings of trust, safety and well-being. If you link the ‘pain and pleasure principle’ of Sigmeud Freud you will feel massive happiness with mutual respect and tremendous pain with disrespectful attitude with each other.
Concluding Remarks – It is said not to handover your remote control of happiness to anyone else. Your happiness should never be influenced and decided by other people roles. It is you who has sole control of your happiness by building , maintaining , nurturing and respecting a sustainable relationship with your friends, peers, colleagues and partner.
Are you ready to learn the key points mentioned here for a valuable relationship?