“Your success and happiness lie in you. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties”
– Helen Keller
Therefore, Happiness stands to be “the experience of joy, contentment, or positive well-being, combined with a sense that one’s life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile.”
-Sonja Lyubomirsky, Positive Psychology Researcher
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- What Makes Us Unhappy?
Distractions, frustrations, failures, setbacks, uncertainties, mistakes are part of our daily life. And many of life’s such issues are actually out of your control. You can’t control the weather, the skin color you were born with, genetic diseases that have no cure, or the fact that you are getting older day by day. We have no control over such things. But, still, we observe that all these stands erect as an impediment for genuine happiness and contentment in our life.
- Hard Facts About Happiness –
I like the way this idea is expressed in The Four Noble Truths of Buddhism. In highly over-simplified soundbites, the Four Noble Truths can be summarized as follows:-
1. There is a lot of suffering in life. Some unhappiness and misery are inevitable.
2. You may be causing some of your sufferings.
3. You can stop causing your own suffering!
4. Once you cease to create your own suffering, you are more likely to live a good life, one in harmony with your deepest values and goals.
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MAKING YOUR OWN HAPPINESS –
- GIVING SUPERCEDES RECEIVING –
Always remember that the world goes round by the power of giving, not by the power of receiving! You can not receive unless you give. The secret of living is giving. Each one of us can give something to other people or to society.
Giving actually makes you happy. Giving something tangible is not always the purpose. When you share intangible valuables like your time, energy, inspiration, motivation, talents it feeds your mind too and gives a sense of happiness.
- KEEP SPACE FOR YOURSELF –
Unless you know about yourself deeply it is impossible to be happy. A regular ‘Me Time’ will refresh you, rejuvenate your mind and give you a feeling of fulfillment. This regular ‘Me Time’ activity will eventually reflect in the wellsprings of happiness.
Writing a journal to register your feelings, stresses, ideas, insights, thoughts, or reading a few pages of a book of your choice that relaxes you or even taking a small sleep are all about ‘giving time to yourself’.
- DO WHAT YOU LOVE TO DO –
Listening to your heart and following your passion consequently give you a happy mind.
A recent study from Gallup, Global analytics and advice firm, revealed that nearly 7,500 full-time employees found that 23% of employees reported feeling burned out at work very often or always, while an additional 44% reported feeling burned out sometimes. That means about two-thirds of full-time workers experience burnout on the job.
These disengaged people should look for a new job or for a completely new career. They are deliberately making their life unhappy and displeased.
- DO NOT COMPARE –
Comparing with the people around you especially peers, colleagues, neighbors, or relatives on ‘have’ and ‘have nots’ makes you unhappy. Stop comparing!
Practice to count your blessings; do not only count your missings! If required unplug yourself from electronic and social media platforms till you come up with a different MINDSET.
- KEEP A PURPOSE OF LIFE –
Purpose is the direction and goal of the future. A purposeless life can only be compared with a mariner without a compass and that ship will eventually reach nowhere! A purposeless life will always lead to frustration and create an unhappy mind.
keep the purpose of life. Your purpose will give you reasons to get up in the morning, your purpose can guide your life’s decisions, focus on your goals, and give a meaningful and satisfying life ahead. Click Here to read books on the Purpose of life in Amazon
- DEVELOP A GRATITUDE MINDSET
Always aspire for a better life but at the same time always be thankful for what you have. You may always find happier, unhappier, poorer, and richer people around you. To create your own happiness you have to constantly look for the good and be grateful for what you have in your life.
Someone very nicely said which has a wonderful implicit meaning that “ I was unhappy as I had no shoes till I saw a man with no feet”
- SURROUND YOURSELF WITH THOSE WHO BRING YOU HAPPINESS –
“Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles, not tears.” John Lennon.
Success and happiness if often infectious. If you choose to spend most of your time with positive, supportive, happy, and purposeful people you will eventually build a happy and fulfilled mindset and lead a productive life.
- KNOW WHEN YOU SHOULD SAY ‘NO’ –
Learn to practice saying no when it conflicts with your interests, integrity, and honesty. Decline the offer politely. The power of no sometimes stronger than the power of yes! Do not negotiate here. After the situation is over, your mind will be filled up with joy and freedom that finally lead you towards happiness.
“Freedom comes when you learn to let go, creation comes when you learn to say no.” Madonna Ciccone
- RETAIN A GROWTH MINDSET –
The mindset concept was introduced by Carol Dweck, Professor of Psychology, Stanford University. Majorly there are two types of mindset- Fixed and Growth mindset. Most of the people fall in between the spectrum.
Read the book ‘Mindset’ by Carol Dweck, Click Here to Check Price on Amazon.
The fixed mindset is typically an inflexible blocked thought whereas in the growth mindset people can continually develop, improve their thoughts, and consequently accelerate their actions. Remember our brain is PLASTIC in nature and you can modify, change, develop, and can achieve happiness.
- PRACTICE ‘SERENITY PRAYER’ –
There are many things in life which you have no direct or indirect control. Do not allow your mind to ponder over such thoughts and remain unhappy rest of your life. Rather practice the Serenity Prayer introduced hundreds of years ago.
The prayer goes like this – “God grant me the serenity to accept the things that I can’t change, the courage to change the things that I can, and wisdom to understand what I can change and what I can’t change”.
- Final Remarks – The purpose of a fulfilled life is happiness. It is easy to talk about any existing troubled condition but a decision followed by 10 action plans as prescribed here will lead to a happy life.
The human spirit is truly unconquerable. So, your decision, not your condition that determines your happy destiny. Come out from a depressed state. The essence of life is uncertainties are the only certainties. So, by practicing serenity prayer, following the above-suggested blueprint, expecting less, and accepting more in life are you going to live a happy life?